Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
