She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
