She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
