In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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