And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
