All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
