Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
