I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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