At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
