The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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