It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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