I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
40s are totally the cure
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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