how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
