True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think your dad took our porno
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
