I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
