You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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