you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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