problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
