and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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