I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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