I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
