quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
