I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
