i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize