I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
