He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
