Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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