This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
