Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
