every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I came so hard my ears popped.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
