I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize