i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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