you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
