Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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