They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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