If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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