we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
