It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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