I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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