like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
