she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
