This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
