she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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