Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
