Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
