if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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