Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
