It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
