I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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