I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
