the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
